1. |
Clot the Wobblin
04:10
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You said you're never gonna make it truly stick
And that turned out true but what can you do
It turned out true but what can you do
It turned out true but what can you do
Hm, let's think...
You can plot out the end game, rebuild the mainframe
Drink a bunch of stuff without referencing a brand name
You could empty your heart and refill it with aspartame
Wait a couple years and do the same thing again
And sure I could be famous-er but I could be aimless-er
And in the grand scheme certain things could be painless-er
But anyone can wonder why they do what they do to begin with
Believe it or not I've been sipping out of cans
They say cans give you cancer but so do certain plants
And certain stances
In some places certain dances give you cancer
So I keep sipping out of cans
And if you don't hold on tight you might lose me
If you don't hold on tight that might be an improvement
If you don't hold on tight I just might not invite you back in
So then guess what?
We get back together then we get back apart
And everyone just does what they were doing in the first place
Once we got slightly bolder it was better getting on
Then someone had to wonder where you go to once you're gone
The devil's in the details, the devil's in your emails
The devil's gonna sell your soul and mark it up for retail
And I'm gonna buy it cuz I can't resist a good sale
So then we get back together
Then we get back apart
And everyone just does what they were doing in the first place
Once we got slightly bolder it was better getting on
Then someone had to wonder where you go to once you're gone
And it's hard to think about this world
It's hard to clot the wobblin
It's hard to keep the curses out
To put a stop to the sobbin
I'm trying to get you less completely
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2. |
Eat Around the Pudding
03:54
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The early aughts were the ready or nots
The assortment of soon to be sun spots
The early underscore of my third favorite part of you
I guess you’ve undone me, I guess it’s unfunny
To say what you’re doing but not what you do
I’d like you to love me but not from above me
From up in front where the light shines through
First you’re a homeowner then you’re a combover
Checking your license to confirm you’re an organ donor
Not so certain what’s behind the curtain but still pretty sure
And now that you’re stressing I’ll teach you a lesson
The way that you’re dressed I’d guess it’s the fall
But here’s what you do and I swear this is true
You eat around the pudding so the last bite has it all
And you’re trapped from the inside
I’m still in my disguise
And why is it that I’m always half naked in your eyes
Do we trip the breaker
I set a small alarm
Because you want to meet my maker
But you do not have the arms
You take way too long, you’re an 8 minute song
And I’m counting backward from 60 again
Now I’d like my money back for my copy
“How Not to Be Sleepy at 7am”
I guess this is it where you swish then you spit
And you pick at your teeth until the numbness wears off
And you wipe off your mouth then you go walk around
Because you’re already out but you’re not gonna tell your boss
Now let’s just say you’re an easy bake and you’re cooking a wedding cake
Whichever the tinnitus or the carpal tunnel takes
Determines what’s best to be fancily dressed
Or to sleep until you choose
But while you wait for the glue to dry here’s a quick clue to trie
Not all at once but still once and for all
Here’s what you do and I’ve even proven this true
You eat around the pudding and then you gallop until you fall
You’re paying off your dues
You don’t know what to choose
When you owe on all the backlogs but you still incur the new
Do we raise the stakes or try to slip through unharmed
Because you want to be the death of me
But you don’t have the weaponry
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3. |
Reach Out and Grab Ya
03:24
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There’s a cap on the days, it’s a slap in the face, it’s a famine
When I thought you were tired of all of this goofin’ around
It explodes when you shake which creates a big misunderstanding
My heart’s not for you, that’s not true, it’s just deep underground
It’s so unfair, I swear that I could just reach out and grab ya
But it’s all from the cola, my hands, when I stole ya passed through
Quite frankly, I want you so bad that it makes me so sad not to have ya
And I don’t wanna make it so I can’t come into your room
I waited so long because I thought it was wrong to persuade you
And I thought we’d collide once the colors combine, red and blue
But if we do that’s a whole separate pile of bullshit to wade through
And it’s such a small space that your heart has to break
Into two or three pieces just so it’ll fit through
What if I say to you that it’s true you’ve been on my mind daily
But I thought that I found you right here on the side of the road
If I needed to be saved don’t you think I’d have asked you to save me
And then don’t you get colder the longer you sit in the snow
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4. |
Coffee or Soda
03:39
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Concerning the point, if you’ve found one to make
Stop gutting the greeter for its own silly sake
I’m getting real sleepy, I’m betting it’s easy
I’m getting by getting my baked goods biweekly
I’m a damage dismisser ’til the damage is done
I’m the 99th caller with a swollen up tongue
I’m a poor conversationer, semi-vacationer
Perfect-reception-but-can’t-stand-the-station-er
And how does this all blend together?
I’m getting closer but I can’t get your makeup off of my chin
Then how do you get to the point where you sit
On a couch with a cleaver but you chew off your wrists
I’m a born hide and seeker, an old worn out sneaker
A mandatory middle school assembly guest speaker
And how does this all blend together?
I’m getting closer but I can’t get your makeup off of my chin
And when do we dry off completely?
That’s this unfortunate predicament I’m finding myself in
It’s coffee or soda, or coffee and soda
Or pretzels and coffee and candy and soda
And why don’t you chew in 10-2 like you’re supposed to
If only the sun lasts forever
If only the sun lasts forever
Then how long are we supposed to last?
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5. |
Denny's Parma
04:09
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If the man in the back was any worse of a dresser
I’d take off my mask and I’d breathe you forever
But the wheels on my chair only roll to the door
And the window just lets the light in
So give me a ribbon and group me together
With the fingernail biters and the nervous heavy sweaters
On a fresh bed of greens so the neighbors feel better
At least ’til the doctors arrive
I’m trying to get you but lately that takes me a long time
But the highway patrol in the desert won’t listen
To the tips of my fingers that I cut off in the kitchen
I’ve got nothing to do with the movies
I’ve got nothing to do with the rain
So next time I’ll bring spoonfuls of oil
That blacken my teeth and contaminate the soil
And leave me to wonder if the water will boil
Though I’m drinking it either way
And now I live in Medford
There’s hardly food here
I don’t deserve it
And now I want your chowder
You make me smile but you make me nervous
You’re a bad reputation I struggle to uphold
You’re a penny on the ground
You’re a deer in the road
You’re a lover, a leaver, a third-time deceiver
I used to know better but now I don’t believe her
It gets to the point where I’m trading my meals
For piles of old crumpled up automobiles
I could take to the edges or learn how to steal
But I don’t want to be here that long
Maybe it feels like I’m asking myself for my own spare change
But whether or not you’re a snake in the grass
The bad times will come and the good ones won’t last
And the vitamin C will disappear way too fast
And that’s when you know that you’re gone
And now I live on Greyhound
There’s only drunks here
I don’t deserve it
And now you’ve got me thinking
I’ll never leave here, at least not on purpose
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6. |
Cribbage Champs
04:22
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While inspecting my surroundings through a paper towel tube
I thought I saw you plotting your impossible next move
Guess I caught you on the run again, I caught you on the loose
And don’t act like that does not amuse ya
On your second through attempt of half-explaining your dumb dream
In a time of never knowing just exactly what you mean
I must admit I had you on my mind when I cooked up this scheme
So does it or don’t it include ya
When I decide to tell you what I always thought was true
It feels as though I’m loving three alternatives to you
Still I don’t want you to notice when I say that we are through
And I just hope that doesn’t confuse ya
You thought enough to claim that you don’t care about the blues
I’d whistle any shade of any color that you choose
I just don’t know how not to make it so I always think of you
And for that I suppose I salute ya
And you forced me to confess to what I didn’t wanna do
And now this sudden mess has convoluted my whole view
It’s a bit hard to explain but you’ve been skunked and I’m untrue
But I did what I did just to suit ya
And now you’re rifling through drawers and getting angrier at me
For not writing down the purchase code or confirmation key
How many times can you remind me to archive and not delete
And how many times can I simply refuse to
But I keep on coming back to what I found in our backseat
A sudden seeming snap to our collapse, our sad defeat
Pertaining to the words you scribbled down on our old sheet
“Cribbage Champs 2017 Mark and Nancy”
And what I’m gonna have to tell you
Is we’re not playing anymore
In all truth I hate to lose you
But I’ve lost this way before
And it’s hard to let you know
That it’s hard to let you go
But just don’t try to say I didn’t try to tell you so
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7. |
Stole the Rhyme
04:20
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If I caught you so blatantly baby it’s crazy
You’re lately not looking at me
Because I somewhat out loud said the difference in crowd
Prompted you to choose the alternate key
There’s a ring in your hearing, the check’s in the clearing
There’s somebody cheering for me
And I’m wondering still if the bottle will fill
To the top or just pop like you said it would naturally
I’m sick of the jingle, I’m stuck in the jungle
It’s all getting boring to me
Still I increasingly stupid and sheepishly
Asked you what that’s supposed to mean
You said it wouldn’t seem it but baby I’d deem it
Unfitting for me to come clean
And then soon you thankfully calmly but angrily
Said to me “baby, that thought is quite frankly obscene”
Now I’m such a wreck that you scared half the heck
Out of me when you started to scream
It’s a map to the core which I’ve mentioned before
But it’s almost exactly the same
As the theme from the film that you saw when you fell
Down the stairs and that damaged your brain
But I got you to belt it, I’m sure that you felt it
From where you were sitting which was basically
Just out of frame
But there’s no sense in snickering, lying or bickering
Who stole what from whom first
Because now nearly twice a day I’m sure I’ll evaporate
I have such a sinister thirst
I have to confess it’s a miserable mess
But at least we’ve avoided the curse
And of all of the ways for you to get paid
This turn of phrase happened to take a turn for the worst
But sweet baby I’m not that crazy I’m
Just late this time in getting home
I stole the rhyme but not the dollar sign
I’ve just resigned myself to living alone
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8. |
Dry Cleaner
05:38
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It starts with an order: “Try on the cement shoes”
I’m gonna find you someone new to sleep next to
He turns to a cluster, curses and cries
I try to feel sorry for him
But it’s you that’s consuming my mind
So you’re my reluctant well received in-betweener
My paddle, my puppet
My gorgeous accomplice dry cleaner
I want you to hold me
I swear that the splatter is dry
I’d have you beside me right now
But you said you have to work until 9
And you hardly even notice the time passing
That makes me crazy
You tend to shiver while I’m still sleeping in
I’ll kill any sucker within reach without reason
In attempt to discover the cost of your bleach bill increasing
But I need you to trust me
I drink a whole lot of red wine
If I told you once I told you twice
I’ve told you 3 or 4 million times
And you hardly even notice the blood splashing
That makes you hate me
You tend to shudder when I poke my head through
I was three quarters finished my fifth stolen soda
When I found that your findings from before
Were not holding over
So I drove you in circles which soon became lines
I was looking for signals from you
And I completely lost track of the signs
And I didn’t even notice the moose crossing
That made you lucky
You tend to buckle at the perfect time
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9. |
Stairway
04:35
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Location can’t be position specifically
It’s highly intrinsic, the way you were trained
I adore you so much that the floor you were on
Just fell out from the sudden decay
I don’t want to have to frighten or haunt you
I just need a costume for a couple of days
It might cost you but let’s move to a city
Where the major league teams are bad
So the tickets are cheap
And we can go to the games every day
I can’t let your spit dissolve my insanity
Can’t let your kiss chase my troubles away
If I heard you in the way I’d prefer to
You love me so bad that you can’t even say
But then really once you finally get near me
It’s “the love turned so bad that you just couldn’t stay”
If you tell me what you need I can check in the back
Where we keep all the good ones and I’ll drop it off on the way
I had no intention of leaving
That’s just a force of bad habit
Like how once you’ve been stabbed there’s no way to un-stab it
I thought that I’d beat you but it turned out
You reached out and grabbed it
Just before I could stand in your way
Well you blew it, you got the dust in the fluid
Which of course became ruined even though it was sealed
Like a melting pot that, believe it or not,
We let sit for so long that the damn thing congealed
So you had to go and pick at the scab you got
Seconds before it was perfectly healed
Now I hear you, it’s simply I’m never near you
It’s the same thing each time like a carousel in rewind
Or a four course meal
Now undo it, simply untape or unglue it
You can punch a hole through it and repair it with me
I got better running right through the center
Where the Curves and the video store used to be
Though before that in a much earlier format
It’s just an old floor mat, you wipe off your feet
Goes to show you that you’re soft to the touch
And I’m a tattoo you only got half through
Because you said it hurt you too much
Can’t we just assume that I’m learning my lesson
It’ll chew you up and swallow you
Or a better expression
I’ve barely begun then I’m done
I slow-danced to the last 30 seconds of Stairway to Heaven
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10. |
Planned Obsolescence
01:29
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I’m still short of proof of what happened before
And now that it’s true what good is this memory for?
And why do I love you with such a strong vigor?
Which is the action and which is the trigger?
It’s mine to install but it’s yours to configure
And I’m gonna take all the blame
And why did we go with the planned obsolescence
It’s cheaper I know, but it’s harsher in essence
And now that the code is in place and it’s present
We’ll just wait and see if you notice
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