Shift Switcher

from by Jake McKelvie

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At 2 a.m. after two hours I sign off
And no one has come scrape the dead porcupine
Off the road by your house, where you just kicked me out
'Cause I flat-out can't kiss you with food in my mouth

I flipped my lid for the dead pilot starter
Had breadsticks for breakfast, so now I have heartburn
I figured I'd find her, 'cause nothing's much finer
Than you in your apron and me with my sideburns

So I'm waiting for you to come in and pretend you
Just could not wait up for me, despite your intent to
I thought you were leaving, it's hard to interpret
'Cause the longer you sit there, the prettier the girls get

And all that you need is a kitchen to pine in
A photo to take and a folder to file it in
Now I'm the static while you try to dial in
It says there's a wait if you're planning on dining in

But now imagine my face when the soda exploded
Which, by the way, you were the first one to notice
You said my life's a sitcom and this is a spinoff
And it's pilot season and I just got botox

And you're the shift switcher, I don't want no talk of it
I don't live off the land, I just live on top of it
It's hard but it's certain, it's quick and it's sordid
Commander, come over, come on, it's important

You're here then you're gone
And I caught you flipping around
It's hard when the station is on
And you are the talk of the town
I'll tell ya, it tears me in two
When you choose to dance in my mind like you do
But to tell you the truth
It never got too much to view


from The Rhinestone Busboy EP, released December 20, 2016



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